For the past few months, I've been having some trouble being stable emotionally. Mood swings, insane ups and downs, lack of motivation, laziness, and low energy. This can be attributed to many, many different aspects of my health, and I'm currently working to change all of it.

I started taking Prozac after my son was born because of extremely bad postpartum depression bordering on postpartum psychosis. Though my hallucinations were auditory and my insomnia temporary, it was one of the lowest points in my life save for being in an abusive marriage. I did, after all, still have my infant son to love and care for, which was my main focus.

I remember laying next to him for hours, just staring at his beautiful little face and touching his soft skin... what a little miracle. He was so tiny, and I was worried because breastfeeding him wasn't working well, so that probably didn't help my mental state in the least. To top it off, when he spit up it was mucous-like, which had me worried he would choke on it or spit up in his sleep and die. I was a wreck. So I spoke to my doctor and felt that medication was the best option at that point because I had almost no control over my own emotions.

First, let me say a HUGE thank you to Jerry Dobias for posting this amazing review of my book. After I read it I was almost in tears because it was just so touching.

On that note, I'd like to briefly say that, since I've been in a more collaborative mindset, I have interacted with some of the most amazing people I've ever met! From business owners to charity executives and media publishers... to other authors, many of whom are wildly talented.

Thank you - to all of my new acquaintances - for being you.


This review signifies a sort of turning point in my perception of how rewarding and gratifying networking can be. Because it's such a great review and so heartfelt, I want to share it here.

Writing can be more therapeutic than therapy itself - I encourage anyone and everyone who has ever suffered through abuse to keep a journal to rant and rave in.

Expressing those feelings and working through them in writing not only helps to get them out of yourself, but it also helps to look back later for understanding and to see how far you've come in the future.

"I remember feeling that way," is a much better thought than, "When will I stop feeling this way?"

So my new thing is to browse the internet for things I'm interested in and learn about them. Well... it's not really a new thing, but I was really thinking about it today because I came across a course that I want to take and realized that this will be the second course I'll be going through at no cost to me, should I be accepted.

The first course was an online webinar class about online business and the internet economy, and I have to say that it always inspires me. I mean, every time I participate, I generate a TON of great ideas and take notes in order to make the most of my learning experience, and it is AMAZING! Truly.

No here's what really amazes me: I can enter a search term, press Enter, and instantly be taken to an entire list of information about whatever term I happened to type in.

I can literally learn anything online.

I have officially been a non-smoker for 2 weeks and am now on step 2 of the nicotine patch kit to help my body get rid of its pesky nicotine addiction. (As one of my friends said, "Oh lord, you're one of those people now, aren't you?" LOL)

Now this next part makes me feel kinda stupid. It's okay, though, because the discovery was an awesome happy moment today that's continuing to make me smile every time I hear it, hehehe =).

About a week ago, I met with my mom at one of our local gift shops, The Holly Hut. I've been wanting a wind chime forever now, and I was checking out some of the amazing ones in the shop.

Now, the bigger ones that sound super awesome are about $100 to $150 each, but those things are huge and I can't afford one of those right now. BUT... I found a really cute one while I was browsing that says, "Treasure LITTLE Things!" at the top. It's got some glass beads and butterflies hanging from it, and I've been leaving the back door cracked so I can listen to it =).

I wanted to write about this because it really struck me while I was reading a book over the past couple of days.

They always tell you that writers should also be readers. The purpose for this is to develop your language skills thoroughly, on a conscious as well as subconscious level.

By reading on a regular basis, you're also training your skills subconsciously because you're exposing yourself to properly edited and developed writing. Well, with the advent of self-publishing, are we doomed to become dumb because of indie authors not hiring editors?

I just finished attending a webinar by Mike Klingler, who is a coach I follow on Facebook. Every time I attend one of these, I always have a million ideas shoot through my head about my own business, and have been having some thoughts on the Soul Vomit anthology especially.

The reminder to continue learning was a big focus this evening. There were other focuses as well, but that one struck me especially hard for some reason. I love learning. I love information. I also dropped out of college the last time I tried to go... but I still feel like that was a better choice than continuing when my passion is already right in front of my face in the form of Broken Publications and my own writing.

I know what my cause is and what I stand for, and that's stopping domestic violence and helping victims to leave their abusers and thrive in happy lives afterward. I'm really hoping that some of the things I've learned will help others to do just that and allowing others to publish their stories in order to raise awareness as well as giving people a chance to write out their experiences for therapeutic reasons. Maybe it will help them just like it helped me.

Seven days.

It might just be me, but I've always thought there was something poetic about the number seven. Seven days in a week, seven deadly sins, seven tears, dog years....

It's funny because I've been so much more productive and have been reading a lot more because every time I find I want to smoke a cigarette, I pick up a book. I read an entire novella today and posted a review, am on the verge of finishing another book, and have a whole stack of books that I can still read sitting to the right of me.

I don't think I've read this much since I was pregnant with my oldest daughter... lol, gee, wonder what happened?

It feels nice to feel like I have enough time to do the things I want to do. I was constantly feeling like I couldn't get everything done. Who knew it was because I was spending so much time inhaling smoke?

I keep getting Tori Amos stuck in my head. "She's addicted to nicotine patches...."

Aside from that, the days have been good. I'm way more productive now that I don't smoke that it's almost ridiculous. I have more energy, more focus... I feel like my brain is finally working better again.

This is fantastic news because I can finally really write again! Hooray!!!

Now for the bad news. I locked myself out of my e-mail and forgot my purse at a friend's last night, so now I don't have my anti-depressants.... BUT she's dropping off my purse and I already contacted Hotmail to let them know what's up. I just have to wait a little while for now, but after checking my list of things I didn't finish yesterday, I realized I can do all of that without my e-mail, so... more good news =).